I got deleted from someone’s list today. I’m pretty sure it’s for being matter of fact, rather than coddling her. Eh well. We’ll both live.
1- First and foremost, date a geek. Yeah, admittedly, we take a bit of grooming to be presentable. However, we treat ladies like ladies, and work harder in bed than the hawt dude that gets booty whenever he wants it.
2- Also, date a geek. You won’t have to worry half as much about a geek cheating on you. Instead, he’ll want time with his square-headed girlfriend. You know, the PC, XBOX, or other electronic device.
3- Again, date a geek. Yes, he’ll have a group of friends that may be somewhat annoying to you. However, he’ll be hanging out with these lady repellants and you’ll know that when he’s with them, you’ve got nothing to worry about. There are no girls around, except other geeks.
4- Become very good at smiling while nodding. This is a very important skill. It works for when your man is talking about sports, square-headed girlfriend activities, or cars/trucks. And it makes him feel appreciated and understood.
5- When complimented, you don’t need to tell your man how fat your are. That’s kind of annoying actually. One of those things that men as a whole would like stamped out. Simply smile, say thank you, give us a kiss on the cheek, and move on with life. Believe it or not, we do say those things to make you feel good about yourself, so shut up and take a friggin’ compliment. 😀
6- And remember, date a geek. A geek will actually take you to some of the more cultural events you’re interested in, and maybe open your eyes to a few you were unaware of. Renaissance festivals, plays in the park, comedy shows, and quiet nights at a pub where you can actually hear yourself think.
7- Don’t brood. Sitting around looking grumpy and not explaining to us what’s wrong is not going to keep your man around. It’s one of the most frustrating things in the world. We’re not mind readers. We don’t always know if something we did is the cause of this brooding, so we end up being just as miserable, and feeling guilty for nothing half the time. If you’re grumpy, tell us why. If you don’t know why, then move on with your life. Just don’t disrespect us by not communicating with us and expecting us to muddle through your miasma of self-torture and guilt trip.
8- Be generous with the booty, and teach us what YOU want. We know what the last girl we were in a long term relationship with liked, but your body is made differently. Move a hand where you like it to be, and react to things. Lovers, whether male or female, need to be taught what their partner likes, or the sex isn’t going to be as good as you like.
9- Don’t tolerate a guy that doesn’t treat you right. You are a privelage that must be first earned, and maintained. Your gorgeous body and beautiful personality are a gift to whomever YOU want to give it to, and you shouldn’t give those gifts lightly.
10- Ditch the granny panties except for those events that are appropriate. We understand you don’t want designer underwear at certain times of the month, and you deserve to be comfy during that hellacious period of time. However, a sexy pair of underwear go a long way. (Yes, I know. Guys need to ditch the whitey-tighties. Some of us are working on that.)
11- When you’re reaching burnout with dating, it’s ok to take a break. Finding a man really isn’t that important. Take care of yourself, or you can’t be happy with anyone. Make it a point to take a week or two off to enjoy yourself, and treat YOU right. And maybe not just from dating. Take a vacation from giving to other people. Be a homebody for a week or so. It’ll do ya good. Your batteries have to be recharged before you can power anyone else in any way.
12- Be proactive about the problems you have in life. A lot of guys want someone that doesn’t whine. A woman that wines about her problems, but doesn’t do anything about it, is just a weight holding us down. We want to take care of you a bit, but not to the extent that we’re solving all of your problems.
13- Provided you’re on good terms with your mom, have her review the guys you’re interested, and take her advice to heart. Daddy’s are overprotective of their daughters. It’s simple instinct there. But a mother is practical person, and will want what’s best for you.
14- Pick one of your man’s interests, and allow yourself to be open-minded and get into it. Whether it’s sports, video games, or anything else, he wants to see your interest in the things he loves. If he’s a decent guy, he’ll do the same for you, so watch for reciprocation.
15- Be confident when approaching guys.
16- Don’t get sloshed on a first date.
17- Know what you want. It doesn’t do you any good to get into a relationship with a guy when you don’t know what you want out of that relationship. I know of at least three relationships I’ve been in that were long-term that ended because the woman I was dating didn’t know what she wanted in the first place.
18- Enjoy your life outside of dating, romance, etc… or you’re not going to be able to enjoy your life within those realms either.
19- Don’t be a drama queen.
20- Maintain an open mind, and don’t pigeon-hole yourself into a certain type of guy, etc…
Remember, I may be, and most likely am, completely full of shit.
Oh… and date a geek. It’s good for you.